“惟用爱心说诚实话，凡事长进，连于元首基督。” - 弗 4:15

我遇到一个人，他在应对许多批评时说：“事情就是这样！”他显然对自己的鉴别力很有信心。如果你质疑他，他会说：“但这是事实！”

但如果他说的是事实，那也不是在爱中说的。相反，他把真理当作一把火炬，灼烧任何与他擦肩而过的人。

在某些方面，他可能通过说诚实话遵守了神的律法，但当他不在爱中说话时，就违反了神的律法。

那么，我们如何知道自己是否在爱中说诚实话呢？

这里有一些在说话前的思考建议。

它会有帮助吗？说这话会带来好处吗？

有必要吗？我必须这样说吗？

它是有爱的吗？能否在基督里建立一个人？

这些都是我们应该寻求的目标。使徒保罗敦促我们“用和平彼此联络，竭力保守圣灵所赐合而为一的心”，“建立基督的身体，直等到我们众人在真道上同归于一”。保罗认为话语在某种程度上就像建材——这样我们就可以建造一座和平的房子。只有牢记这样的目标，我们才能说诚实话。

祷告

神啊，如果我们认为自己对真理有足够的把握，以至于用它来攻击别人，请赦免我们。真理不能与爱分开。请帮助我们辨别何时以及如何在爱中说诚实话。阿们。

以弗所书 4:1-16

1我为主被囚的劝你们：既然蒙召，行事为人就当与蒙召的恩相称，
2凡事谦虚、温柔、忍耐，用爱心互相宽容，
3用和平彼此联络，竭力保守圣灵所赐合而为一的心。
4身体只有一个，圣灵只有一个，正如你们蒙召同有一个指望；
5一主，一信，一洗，
6一神，就是众人的父，超乎众人之上，贯乎众人之中，也住在众人之内。
7我们各人蒙恩，都是照基督所量给各人的恩赐。
8所以经上说：“他升上高天的时候，掳掠了仇敌，将各样的恩赐赏给人。”
9（既说升上，岂不是先降在地下吗？
10那降下的，就是远升诸天之上要充满万有的。）
11他所赐的有使徒，有先知，有传福音的，有牧师和教师，
12为要成全圣徒，各尽其职，建立基督的身体，
13直等到我们众人在真道上同归于一，认识神的儿子，得以长大成人，满有基督长成的身量，
14使我们不再做小孩子，中了人的诡计和欺骗的法术，被一切异教之风摇动飘来飘去，就随从各样的异端，
15唯用爱心说诚实话，凡事长进，连于元首基督。
16全身都靠他联络得合式，百节各按各职，照着各体的功用彼此相助，便叫身体渐渐增长，在爱中建立自己。

Truth And Love

"Speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ." - Ephesians 4:15

I met a man who ended many of his criticisms by saying, “And that’s the way it is!” He apparently had great confidence in his own discernment. And if you challenged him, he would say, “But it’s true!”

But if he spoke the truth, it was not spoken in love. Instead, he used truth as a blow-torch, scorching anyone who crossed his path.

In some ways he might have kept God’s law by telling the truth, but he broke it when he did not speak in love.

So how do we know if we are speaking the truth in love?

Here are some considerations to make before speaking:

Is it helpful? Will saying this bring about good?

Is it necessary? Must I say this?

Is it loving? Will it build someone up in Christ?

These are the goals we should seek. The apostle Paul urges us to “keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace,” “so that the body of Christ may be built up until we all reach unity.” Paul sees words in a way like construction materials that can be used in building—so that we can build a house of peace. Only with such a goal in mind may we speak the truth.

Prayer

God, forgive us if we think that we have such a firm grasp on truth that we blast others with it. Truth cannot be separated from love. Help us to discern when and how to speak the truth in love. Amen.